reminded of someone

i woke up late around 11:30 am, maybe because it was kinda' gloomy and it wasn't that hot to wake me up. i was just here in my room listening music for the rest of the afternoon and got to chat din with ate sol uhm medjo matagal na din since the last time she was online. always naman talaga me nagpapatugtog ng music eh but the songs vary talaga depending on what suites my ears at the moment. well last night paulit ulit lang ung Need To Be Next To You to the point tlga na halos di ko nanapapansin ung lyrics and ung song. hehe. weird bah? well its so normal to me. haha. ayun i also got to talk to ianna din a bit online then not long before she had herself offline i went to bed na rin. the song stopped kinaumagahan na ng nagbrown-out, i was awakened but eventully went back to sleep after unplugging the laptop and speakers. it was lunch time when i went out of bed.

kanina mid-afternoon disco/showband songs naman pinatugtog ko, well i have an "ear" for those kind of music tlga.now naman mymp songs and kakatapos lang ng ulan. hahayz anyway wala lang other than nakakatunga i get to read some thread sa pex which got me through boredom and i came across a thread entitled: the one that got away.

upon scanning through the thread napaisip ako and regrets kinda struck me na rin after like 4 years... haha i don't really share things and maybe its time to just open things up kahit online. well not really regrets but "what if's" kinda haunted me again. it was like 4 years as i've said shux this is a revelation. peace sa makakabasa na di magugustohan toh and crossedfingers na rin.

anyway 4 years ago i met this girl na niligawan ko din. as i saw it, ayos na talaga kami like everything seemed to be in place, her family knows bout me and all. she knew everything na bout my intentions din but she wasn't ready to commit. she reassured me when i asked her na di nya ako binubusted and that she liked me a lot. its not bout me it was bout her not being ready to commit. the process just continued talaga kulang lang ng formality-- i wasn't disappointed by her. i just don't know after months and months of waiting bigla nalang lumabo and out of the blue i fell out of it. doubts on my part came to mind kung mahal ko ba tlga xa after that and basta it was struggle. i felt guilty that time that i coudn't tell her what was wrong with me parang i secluded my self from her 'coz i didn't know how and what to do.i was afraid na may mali akong masabi and takot ako na masaktan xa not realizing that time na by the mere actions that i opted to do nasaktan ko na xa. wala talagang closure yun then she had her own life we communicated eventually but we never patched up talaga. i wanted to ask her and to talk to her bout it pero i didn't had the gutts. i didn't know exactly when pero she found someone else na din and now they are still together i guess. i have to admit it came across my mind talaga many times, i felt guilty bout that and regrets na rin and at some point wanted her back. when we see each other naman nagbabatian pa rin but i'm just curious what she's thinking talga kung ano ung mga saloobin niya. hahayz yun.

questions in mind:
pano kaya kung naging kami? will our paths cross again? will she love me again or does she love me still? may natira pa kaya? can i win her back? should i win her back?

realization: im so stupid! i knew she had trust issues and with what i did grr im hell stupid! stupid!

yaix. now playing on my media player: Back Home by MYMP

ano bah toh! i edited the entry and tugtog naman Only Reminds Me Of You by MYMP. hehe
sana sa mga kakilala ko na napadaan wag maxado mag react. hehe