true dreams and faded memories

am i making up all these crap? am i some kind of a psycho? hope not. doubts just bugs me today, why do i have a descriptive memory of events that no one could remember? whether it all happened in reality or not, i know that deep inside me it felt so true and i am not pleading guilty of any charges. if there is one thing that i am guilty of it would be not making the perfect decisions and not being able to control my mind in digesting random memory. i am not insisting on my sheared memory 'coz maybe i was just making all those up, maybe everything happened in my past life, maybe those were ought to be forgotten.

i had a hard time going out of bed, i slept a bit late na din kc kagabi but good thing i wasn't late nor my sisters. i was actually a bit early kanina, the avr was still closed and only a few people were there pa. the demonstration went okey and time came in a swift. not long before i noticed it, we were about to be dismissed. we decided to eat in mang inasal! yay! favorite chicken... hehe well we decided dun kc medjo malapit lang sa hospital where we were to have our orientation in the afternoon. ayun kain kain, tuksohan and kain ulit haha. btaw nabusog ako ng dinauubos ung rice ko! naks! diet--- di noh! i just consumed one burger and a bottle of iced but not iced tea during our break in the morning kaya i gave some of the rice to Dana. haha takaw! timejust ticked and ticked ng di namin namamalayan, what the! it was almost 1pm when we left the mall and punta na ng hospital.

i was a bit perspiring because we had a small walk from the unloading area to the hospital and took some steps up to the 4th floor. we were happy in our thoughts that finally we could relax in a fully airconditioned room, oh well we were a floor lower when the buzzing sound of the aircondioner greeted us and how delightful it was to us. woohoo! cool breeze all we felt coming, and boom hot air just burst into our face. the room was crowded as in like over flowing with exhausted humans -- angels in hell was probably the most apt description. there were 4 airconditioners and none of it were turned-on, electric fans were rotating but wasn't able to sustain the crowd. i myself was perspiring and had no seat to rest upon, my hanky was soaked wet and did i say i was standing? minutes prior to the orientation the a/c were turned on and felt a little less exhausted but still no extra monoblock to sit in, we just sat on the tables on the side of the halls for the entire duration and felt sleepy but made it a point not to get closer even with a wink -- i did yawn a couple of times but it meant that i am in some kind of homeostasis and calm. anyway what ever the yawns meant, i did got through the first part of the orientation not sleeping. we then had our hospital tour, i had been to that hospital a couple of times already, being an out-patient to having our on-call duty but just now that i came to realize that the complex is bigger than i thought it was. the rained poured in but i walked to the loading area to get a ride alone since ung mga kasama ko were rooting towards different directions. i am one person na di talaga takot mabasa ng ulan haha kaya i walk calmly through the street as if it was a great summer day.

arrived at home around 5pm and i asked our househelp to cook scrambbled eggs for me kc parang nagutom ako and had myself a good rainy day meal. rice soaked in coffee and scrambelled eggs on the side -- one of my fave since i was a kid. i missed eating this and dami ko talaga nakain. busog na busog ako! rest ng konte then i headed to take a shower -- ginaw pero ayos lang naman kaya!

it was like forever since i held my mobile phone ung tipong di binibitawan. haha. yup i was exchanging text messages with ita and funny kc parang binibenta nya friend nya sa akin -- sorry sa term na gamit ko. uhm kc she has this friend pla na kalevel ko and tinanong nya ako if i know her but since im not familiar with the names and couldn't really associate the faces to their names i asked a friend kung kilala nya. my friend knew her pala and naging kabatch daw namin when we had our psychiatric affiliation at the same time ita was describing her pero di nakita ng friend ko sa conference hall. After the orientation, my friend saw her about to go out, ang loko sumigaw ba naman na nagpapasend ako ng regards! what the! kakahiya kaya yun, i mean daming tao good thing parang walang nakapansin or i hope na walang nakarinig. anyway it rained up to (looking out at the window)... ... kanina -- nagstop na pala ngayon ko lang napansin. hehe.

playing since kanina neil sedaka's laughter in the rain... oooh! i hear laughter in the rain... walking hand in hand with the one i love... yaix! managinip ba ng gising! maybe those memories retained on my mind were simply my dreams that i thought really happened... hahayz