Bullets: Hope and Biases

• Hope is what keeps us alive but it is what shuts us off and kills us. Sometimes we might opt to not expect and be hopeful though most of the time unconsciously we are hoping, dreaming for what we think is better. One thing i love about spontaneity is that it tends to erase the standards that is placed on pedestal. It lessens the possibility of dismay and frustrations. It makes you less of a trying hard and yeah it makes one appreciate your being and what is in the moment.
• As human being as we are and as earthly we can be, we tend to see a picture literally, we have the notion to boxed in, like a horse with no peripheral view. We become unilateral judges, we convict with bias -- bias on what is implanted on our minds. More than often whether we admit it or not, we are close minded we things as they were when we last saw them. The first thing that pops into our minds when we see a juice bottle on the sink of the comfort room, "what is this doing here?" or maybe "it's dirty and should be disposed"... all we think is "It's a juice!" it would not likely occur as probably urine in the bottle! We seemed to be libelous of things, we have a stereo-typal nature. Once an atenean always an atenean sort of view, we don't seem to realize that change happens. Worst part is when our minds our poisoned by the thoughts that we over emphasized what we believe in, we over emphasized the negative things rather than what could have been the better side of may it be a situation, a thing or a person.

something better

I had my very first formal job interview last monday and i tell you it was quite an experience. I've never experienced such nervousness as that in my entire life. Well the whole thing came in a short notice. I was informed by my aunt friday night about that and yeah 2 days after was the actual interview. Oh yeah I didn't have an idea of what really would take place since i've never been to an event as such. Complete with the attire, resume, cover letter and some stuffs that might be asked from me i headed to the supposed to be hotel 30 minutes before the set time and yeah took the jeepney and motorella, two of the main mode of transpo here in CdO. hehe. Hey! Hey! It's nothing, I really didn't care much of some heads taking a second glance at me. ahahaha.

Then there I was, entering the premises as my heart started to stump stump stump while mind figures out what to do later on. I approached the reception and tried to ask for the exact location of the event, unfortunately it was another company who was scheduled but then i just opted to see for myself the supposed to be hall. As I took the steps on the stairs, my heart beats a little faster... my sympathetic nervous system seemed responding well to the upscaling stress I am undergoing. I've never been there and so I used the stairs, if you don't know i have a thing in unfamiliar places it's either I'd use the stairs or if in an open area i'd rather walk than ride in a transpo that would directly send me to the location i am heading for. Anyway as I reached the location that the receptionist told me, there was no one there and so i texted my aunt bout it and guess what? the event was relocated to another hotel, goodthing it was nearby and so i grab a cab and off i went, sweaty quite worried of being late.

Now,I was at the right hotel and yeah my feeling didn't get any better - it was even worse... i felt my knees shaking and butterflies in my stomach? talk about impending diarrhea good thing it was alleviated when I had a pee and tried to look myself on the mirror. hehe. narcisistic? probably! ahaha. I thought Iwas up for an interview but no i wasn't since we had two take two tests and pass everything before proceeding to an interview with the bosses. It was a bit of relief knowing about that but it somehow trippled my worries of not making the cut. I had to complete a 12 minute-50 item exam with atleast 15 correct answers, an online personality exam wherein the head office decides whether you are on for the intervie or not and lastly the interview.

I passed first round with a total correct of 24 answers and yeah i wasn't able to cover all 50 items. We were told to take the online exam and so together with 3 new friends who were also applicants we went to Dvsoria to lookfor an internet cafe and yeah we did the personality test -- I am just so amazed by how the test was so accurate when i looked at my own results and yeah it said that it suited the position i was applying for. We were done around 10am and so I went to the cathedral to pray not just for my application that i may be able to proceed to the interview but also for my upcoming board exam. I was really furious whether or not I'll be interviewed, i didn't received any text messages and yeah afternoon was starting to set in. I decided to join the reinforcement lecture in the afternoon but i was so agitated, checking out my cellphone for any updates on my application but no text. I was silently listening to the lecture, bothered and hoping that I get to be interviewed. Alas! I got the text message and yeah i flew in like a flash to the hotel -- don't get me wrong! i informed my review coordinator about it.

I was interviewed. Question after question i got a bit relieved from the anxiety but yeah my voice got a little bit louder. I know it was didn't turn out exactly how i practiced everything in my mind but it surely was my best shot. After the interview, honestly i really prayed but not as how i prayed that morning. I just wished that what ever the outcome would be, it is what is best for me. I wanted the job because I want security -- I am actually afraid of what my future would be and how would that job could greatly ease the burden but then again i know it might not be the best for me, it might be the best for the moment but not for the following days and that's what I was praying for. I prayed that whatever God think is the best for me then let it be, If I would be in I'd be very much happy but if I don't I'd gladly accept it and move on. I didn't received any call or SMS from them the following day which meant I wasn't able to make it but you know what I'm just so thankful right now for that whole experience and yeah I learned a lot from it.

To be honest it was one hell of an experience but as i look back it was something that I never thought I couldn't survive but as i've known myself i know It wasn't strange that I came out fine. One advice, If you are there -- in what ever you do or what ever is set for you to do -- do it! give a shot. You have to face things where you are ready or not -- it's better to do something than to turn your back at it. Life is about fighting every opporutnity given to you and so by then you'll appreciate things, you'll appreciate yourself. The beauty of life is the fact that whether you got what you want or not, you'll end u with a price -- it might not be good to you right now but sooner or later you'll realize it was so much better.

my family

as i've said before i am not perfect and i made mention of my family not being one. anyway i wouldn't know if it would be a surprise to everyone else, but i am actually living with my sibblings now. my father lives separately from us and my mom is actually earning far from us just to support us. When i was younger, well my mom left us for i don't know reason but in my young mind I knew whatever the reason maybe it was reasonable enough. I have to admit, they parted ways with i don't know reason but as i've grown i somehow puzzled out things. I am more closer to my mom even before and without bias i know she'd given much for our family and that my dad is at fault that time and yeah he admits it. I never commented about what happened and just lived by what the course of life has stored for me.

Despite the distance, they were there and as we grow older they had laid out the explanations of everything that has happened and yeah that alone makes them great parents.

It's been like 5-6 years, since it happened and yeah basically still in the same set-up but questions in my mind had been answered and i guess it's working just fine. Changes happened in a good way. The gap between me and my dad has been bridged upon, My dad basically has grown older and maturely, Yeah he really changed a lot. We all were drawn closer more than ever. You know what today I've realized that I am just so lucky to have both parents, despite that not-so-good parts in our family telennovela. I have both parents think about my future.

At the end of the day, who says you can never be happy not being perfect?!

thanks ma and pa for bringing me into this world :) you might never be leading in the race for ideal parents but i can guarantee you both are better parents and yeah your doing just fine. hehe

my journey

Hey there dear readers! if there are any, I am currently reviewing for the upcoming board exam. It's barely a month and half until the actual day which will be on the 29th and 30th of November. To be honest I am not yet ready up to now despite the fact that for the past 3 months I have been reviewing. Since day one of college I've never realized that I will be able to reach this far, It was never been in my line of interest to be a nurse -- not my childhood dream either. I live with arts but then on the fork road I didn't know where to go and so I gave in to what my mom suggested. I was skeptical about it but still I pursued it. It was topsy turvy for me, No question I enjoyed dealing with people both at school and in the hospitals during rotations but I almost quit at times because of the fact that this insane thing was bigger than my own brain though I never really shouted it loud, I just tried and wait for the college to oust me. Luckily, semester after semester I was still there. I realized that large amount of money had been capitalized just for me to finish college and found myself started praying that I maybe able to sustain and that eagerness has flickered more and more.

It was nearing the end of 3rd year when I was totally knocked out because of the pressure, I could not forget that very day. I had my assessment and was actually doing my requirements when I just fell like surrendering, I actually haven't slept -- I actually cried the whole night! I contacted my mom and she was able to convice me to just finish my duty that day and then just see what happens. I failed that semester which gave me the opportunity to explore things out. I transferred to another school and started a new battle, a battle that I was able to conquer. On graduation day I was marching, somehow proud of being there, seeing a new me.

Trully God has plans for all of us and yeah also for me despite the fact that somethings had frustrated me, he has redirected my path to a better one. If not for that failure, then I would have been another person maybe a weaker one or not. Important thing is that I've grown, I've improved and that's a lot of reconstruction made by God through everyone who had been part of my life. I am not a perfect person, i don't have a perfect family, i don't have the riches, i am not the ideal boy next door hunkie that everyone would take a second look to, I have frustrations, I have day to day stressors but hey I am happy or at the very least I am trying to be happy with what I have, I am the brighter side of what ever I have --making the most of what I have is the secret of how i've survived up to this very moment.

As I've said I will be taking the exam, this november and I am not ready but then I know i will never be and so I am taking this chance. I am hoping that it turns out good and I am not asking for your godd lucks, what I want you to do is to please pray for my success and believe that prayers do work. I am not a religious person,I don't regularly go to mass, I can't memorize the rosary or the saints and even the responses to the priests dialogue, I have sinned in actions words and thoughts but I can attest of the power of prayer. So I am asking you now to pray not just for me but for anything that you need and believe that in it. God Bless You Everyone I hope that sooner or later you'll be able to love the life that you have and the self that you are to be trully happy and thankful for what ever you'll have soon.

I want to share this prayer for special intentions:

Prayer to St. Joseph of Cupertino

O St.Joseph of Cupertino who by your prayer
obtained from God to be asked at your examination,
the only preposition you knew.

Grant that I may like you succeed in the December (Nov. 29-30) 2008
Nurse Licensure Examination.

In return I promise to make you known
and cause you to be invoked.

O St. Joseph of Cupertino pray for me

O Holy Ghost enlighten Me

Our Lady of Good Studies pray for me

Sacred Heart Of Jesus, Seat of divine wisdom,
enlighten me.

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A Prayer to St. Jude Thaddeus

Most Holy Apostle, St. Jude Thaddeus, faithful servant and friend of Jesus, the name of the traitor who delivered your beloved Master into the hands of his enemies has caused you to be forgotten by many. But the Church honors you, and I invoke you as the special advocate of those who are in trouble and almost without hope. Help me to realize that through our faith we triumph over lifes difficulties by the power of Jesus who gave his life for us. Come to my assistance that I may receive the consolation and succor of heaven in all my needs, trials, and sufferings, particularly (here make your request) and that I may praise God with you and all the saints forever.

St. Jude, apostle of the Word of God, pray for us.
St. Jude, follower of the Son of God, pray for us.
St. Jude, preacher of the love of God, pray for us.
St. Jude, intercessor before God, pray for us.
St. Jude, friend of all in need, pray for us.
St. Jude, pray for us, and all who invoke your aid.
Thank You Saint Jude for answering my prayers.

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and to the board takers this Nov. 29 and 30 don't forget to bring the following on the day of exam:

1. Your Dream

2.Your Will

3.Your Faith

4.Tons of Self-Confidence

5.Tons of Prayers

Effects

Oh My God! I just did one of the greatest embarrassment in my whole life -- well probably college.. uhm post-college or might as well intra-college life. shucks! i forwarded files through email to some less than a hundred batch mates of mine with wrong grammaticisation in it. Now that's embarrassment on a supra-magnified level. sheesh! that's pretty embarrassing for me.. err! stupid me i didn't check before sending it . wah! now i can drop my head into a manhole. hahayz. proof read next time, ayt?!

uhm days seemed to go well except for the weather. Global Warming is taking its toll on us and God i fear time comes when everything would be intolerable. Personally, I really wanna do something unfortunately i don't know exactly how, since i myself do contribute to the worsening of the situation and I seemed can't even watch for myself. I hope the government can atleast do something about it, maybe an education drive regarding "Global Warming" or i don't know, everyday the situation seemed to get worse... before was just the unpredictable change in weather conditon but just yesterday a whirl wind of some sort came to pass our area. now that's the scary part! a tornado in the Philippines?! shoot! Well last night, around 12am, lights were down and strong wind striked almost every part of the city (i asked some friends from different areas of the city and they did confirm to notice the same occurence). It was unusually strong talaga to the point of destroying the metal sheet roof of some nearby structures. metal sheets were cluttering, trees were shaken in every direction. it was far from nightmare, i've never ever imagined something like that.

I was actually trying to solve my last soduko puzzle to drive myself to sleep since the internet connection was off, with the source of light was coming from my almost empty batt laptop when i heard cluttering sound of metal sheet, swoooshing wind and splatering of palm leaves on the window pane. I then decided to catch a glimpse from my window, i just opened a bit and the air was eratic with dust flowing, trees swayed --- a pretty unusual bolus of wind slammed to whatever was in obstruction. I returned and finish the soduko puzzle before i decided to go to bed and just prayed for our safety and of others.

It is a monday and so i went to school for another leg of the review sessions. BTW we had our PRC registration last saturday and it was another experience to tell. hehe. anyway, the unusual atmospheric gig last night was evident in the morning with plants slashed like some chainsaw run through the leaves, some branches were broken, the streets has a chaotic aura but not that chaotic basta it was unusual. As I arrived this afternoon, i then knew that the worse thing that happened, was one house was nadaganan ng isang mango tree and muntik ng mamatay yung nakatira dun buti nalang at nagising. i also realized that it wasn't just me yung nakapansin and was worried bout last night, my aunt and cousins even went out of their house in the middle of night to keep themselves safe. natakot sila at baka madaganan yung bahay nila ng puno. hahayz. kakatakot.

i just hope that as we see these effects of Global Warming, we should help disseminate and spread bout this growing concern. I hope that as part of the generation affected, we take part in the movement in preventing the exacerbation. i hope that out of our ignorance, we will find time to read bout it and in our simple ways can be an advocate. i'll try to post some more information on Global Warming soon. Well for now here are some tips on how to help:

1. Turn off any electronic device if not used, even structures emit CO2.
2. Walk! Bike! If you can, don't use automobiles.. emissions adds enormous burded to climate.
3. Plant in your yard. may it be trees,bushes or even the dainty flowering plants can be of help.
4. Avoid anything that can cause carbon dioxide accumulation in the atmosphere.
5. Minimize Air Pollution, any form of pollution for that matter.

uhm that's it for now! hahayz. let's all pray and believe in the power of prayers.

my supposed to be "tamad" day

Yup! last thursday was supposed to be my "tamad" day and yeah you read it right last thursday, same date above, quite confusing?! well i'm actually writing this 2 days after, today is saturday! hehe well as i've said it was supposed to be my "tamad" day. My so called "tamad" day would basically comprise of droggyness, brown khakis and a shirt, preferably white. hahaha On that day i don't think much of what to wear and yeah that's basically it -- i do think that somehow to have a good day, you gotta wear something you've thought of and something better than plain khakis and white.

Well, my day then started as i woke up in a not so good state - droggy! and ironically read one of best messages i ever received. It made me smirk, smirk in a good way :) it was just uh!, it was a great start of what was supposed to be a long and not so significant day. i never really expected that - as in never it entered my mind but yeah i did hoped for that. korny? nah! anyway, i got up a bit late and heat of the morning sun was playing with my skin like hell as i rode the jeepney to the city. i thought i was late but i wasn't, and the long day started as i seated on the armchair in an airconditioned room with the thought that i will be there for the next 8 hours. I went on answering questions after questions of the simulation tests that we had, and boy was i glad to be able to pass the exams -- we had two that day!

after a not so boring 8 hours, i got the MYMP cd that i returned a week ago from the record bar -- i had it changed since they gave me a used one. The cd they gave me was the one that they played at the outlet, they just repackaged it but then they never informed me that and they failed to keep the evidences even to a minimum. hehe. I actually noticed it already the time i bought the cd but i didn't really react right then and there. I did all the math from the series of events that they should have done discreetly. haha.

1. They coudn't find the stocks.
2. The sales personel went to the storage room and shouted a bit loud asking for the MYMP Cd that was on the component
3. After a few minutes, she went out with an album on her hands.
4. Oops! the packaging was taped
5. Uh oh it was the wrong casing, originally the casing was supposed to be transparent but what she gave me was a black opaque one.

I didn't say anything about that and instead asked her if there were stocks available and she said they only got 3 left. i took her word and took the cd with me even though i knew that there was a sort of manipulation and fooling around. I just let her get away with it as i didn't want to embarrass her despite of the unethical deed, though i intended to have it changed the next day and just called the record bar as i arrived home informing them that i needed to return the cd i bought since i got the wrong casing and the cd was dirty with some scratches on it. In fairness to them, they accomodated and asked me to return it nalang the next day. Ayun! hehe i overheard as I turned my back from the counter after returning the "re-furbished on a wacko level" copy, one co-worker say to another that she already asked the personel who gave it to me and admitted that it was really used and that she only did that because she couldn't find the stocks -- though the conversation was off the record, atleast to me. hahayz why did that, when she could have truthfully told me that she can't find the stocks and refer me to another branch or maybe let me come back the next day, why lie? i mean what if it wasn't me, what if it was another person? They can be sued and the store can be closed in no time. hahayz. Oh well.

After which, i dropped by the church beside the mall have my conversations with Him, it was gloomy already when i got out and decided to drop by for a haircut. weee! it was nice to have my hair trimmed off, i'm glad that my "suki" stylist was there. Sad to say, the rate for the cut has increased by 20 pesos but it was fine i am just so satisfied by the services they provided. I then went home, strolling under the rain :)

A day of great start and ending, my supposed "tamad" day didn't came close at all.

MYMP "NOW" - a run through

Long before I got hold of a copy of the album, which was yesterday,I had the chance to listen to the tracks and I have to admit, it fell short of my expectations. I don’t know why, maybe because of the long anticipation and excitement that it has not sunken in sync with my senses. Hehe. I am not talking about the songs individually okey! – but as a whole, it was like drinking a super cold softdrink from a medication measuring cup after a long drought or may be with what I felt after my graduation.. “yun lang yun?” a question in mind.

It was an unusual feeling, really unusual in the sense that I almost get hooked easily after hearing their previous albums for the first time. I don’t know, parang wala lang talaga. After getting the tracks from somewhere, since as I’ve said I only got the CD yesterday, I placed it in my ipod. For like 3 days I was just listening to it and as the days progress-- it just sounded perfectly right for me. Hehe. I actually liked the album na talaga super! That’s no bias ha!

Uhm the album is aptly entitled “NOW”, as the band showcases what they can do and what they are doing at the moment – simply entailing their direction in the Philippine Music Scene. The album is the usual MYMP – simple, easy and unpretentious. It is a 12-track full studio album, with 2 original and 10 cover songs in it.

1. “Now” – I first heard of this from a preview, a so so short preview of the song, actually chorus part lang and I do think it has recall and has a nice arrangement. Very MYMP with a country feel ala Jewel. The song is about giving importance of the present more than what could be in the future. That there’s a reason for having someone now and one must live the moment even with the uncertainty of tomorrow.

2. “Missing You” – John Waite original, yup he is quite unfamiliar in our vocabulary but the song isn’t. Upon hearing this, I knew that it was one of the cover songs. Hahaha I just finished reading the lyrics of this one and blah blah It’s just emo. The song depicts an unrequited love for someone, hoping for someone far away and yeah “missing” him/her despite the fact that the longing is not mutual.

3. “Human” – I thought this was one of the originals but this wasn’t pala. The song is from a 70’s band, The Pretenders. Yup another unfamiliar artist to me and may be to you na rin. I’m not familiar of the song din and this was one of the least tracks I liked in the album when I first heard everything. Hehe. I’m kinda skeptical about the lyrics eh but here is what I understood... ...Sometimes we love truly but then it doesn’t always get the right response, we are so determined that we forget to try to use our heads and when we are on euphoria? we suddenly doubt and hold back not realizing that the least person we wanna get hurt, is the person that we hurt the most and that no matter how we want things to be back and smooth as it is used to be, it just can’t be that way anymore.

4. “Baby Don’t You Break My Heart Slow” – one of my fave songs, a Vonda Shepard original. I knew they can do a good rendition of this one – bagay na bagay talaga eh. Uhm nice ung timbre ng pagkakanta and it was just sooo nice. Hehe. Need I elaborate more of the song, eh the title has captured everything na. Well, it’s a simple plea from someone who is loving so deeply, asking that somebody to be honest and upfront rather than being subtle but in the long run becomes deadly. Oops! Sorry for the terms, well it’s kinda synonymous with the “killing me softly” song. Ahahaha

5. “Set You Free” – uhm to be honest, I am not a fan of this song when this was on its hype… yeah Side A! but I don’t feel like listening to it talaga – I don’t know It just doesn’t suit my ears. Hehehe. This is the first track I ever heard from the album and I liked it naman, now don’t give me the looks, I am just being honest, the band made me like the song much to the effect of singing along with it. Ahaha To sum up the whole 4 minutes and 25 second track – Martyrdom is the most concise term to use. Hehe. Ayun! Next track naman.

6. “Make It Easy” – another song that somewhere sometime I knew I heard nah but not much of it has sync in to me before today. Hehe. A Sybil song which was later then recorded by Steps – hmmm I don’t know who Sybil is but I sure know Steps and they could be one of the last artists in my mind to record the song basing on the rendition given by MYMP in this album. Hehe ang layo talaga! Well the song was actually an old school upbeat pop so having been covered by Steps would make a bit of a sense. Another “killing me softly” synonymous song. Haha.

7. “Cherish” – wee another fave! This is a Madonna song and as I’ve always thought, bagay sa boses ni Ate Ju but what I liked most about this rendition other than it suites vocally is that they made the song “MYMPish” in a good way. This is an 80’s upbeat pop and it came across after more or less a decade, soothing and heartfelt. “Love like you’re a child having his/her first Ice Cream, take your time, love slowly but deeply, savor every bit of it, let it melt like you have all the time in the world, just cherish everything.” --- “Love like it was your first and your last” hehe

8. “These Dreams” – I’m more in favor of this song done with a full band but this was done great, it did come close to what I’ve expected. Hehe. Uhm I am yet to decipher what the lyrics really entails – well each of the lyrics but I do get the song as a whole. It is about living in an illusion of a perfect love story but ended up realizing that it didn’t come close to reality. Oops! Redundant words from me, sorry but it is the best description I could probably associate with the song.haha.

9. “Impulsive"– Great recall factor, one of my early favorites. Uhm I like this song, like how I liked other songs generally by it’s rhythm -- talk about being impulsive. Haha. Btaw I agree with what the lyrics is pointing out, uhm no matter how the principle of Cephalocaudal(Head-Toe) is being reinforced, Head over Heart, when cupid aims on us, our brains are set aside and we dance with our heart beats. Hehe. There is a tag-of-war inside us, our heart and head battle up and sometimes we couldn’t help but to be impulsive and give in to what we feel.

10. “When She Cries” – Ooh! The over played song, kakairita tong song na toh lalo na when this was associated with Bruce and Wendy ampucha! Though I liked the lyrics of the song and It suited Kuya Chin’s voice kaya okey lang na sinali sa album, a good addition to the repertoire. To those who haven’t heard this one, this song is a Restless Heart original which is about Having someone who has always been your strength, your inspiration, someone who has a life of her own but who have been most willing to set aside everything to aid you stand. In return, you only wanted the best for her but thinks that you fell short and hope someday you’ll become someone whom she deserve, someone who can be her knight in shinning armor. Hehe. Lalim!

11. “Rush, Rush” – Nakukulitan ako sa “rush-rush” part. Hehe. It’s cute and I was surprised that this was a Paula Abdul hit pala. Hehe. Never heard of this song before, but I logged to youtube to listen to her rendition of this one but I liked MYMP’s slower version better. This was actually the most country of all the songs in the album, I could only imagine, the cowboy hats and the sleek knee-high boots flaring around the dusty old “EL”-something city. hehe. Actually the song is masyadong malandi! Haha Hey Paula! Grrr! Btaw it’s more of a song of obsession but cute pakinggan. Haha.

12. “Wish List” – this is the 2^nd original track in the bunch and it’s a chrismas song – I think since it made mention of “Christmas”. Hehe. Well the song is about our long list of things that we both want to give and receive on Christmas day or might as well, on our everyday life and beyond the long list of price tagged items are those intangible, priceless yet indispensable gifts we could ever have… Love, Faith, Hope, Friendship, Forgiveness, Happiness and Life. The things we need and the things we barely notice until it’s gone.

Weee! Ang haba ano but I hope that somehow I’ve given you the idea on how incredible this album is and it’s worth the keep. :) Grab an original copy. Thanks!

Atat!

i've been battling with my excitement over MYMP's album. hehe my Id has been working hard, checking religiously over music bars kung meron na ba but unfortunately up to this moment wala pa din. It was launched officially yesterday in manila syempre but i wasn't able to chitchat with my online friends after the event since i went o bed early because I wasn't feeling well. I had a pseudo runny nose, up until now actually.

I woke early din naman kanina, off i went for my first day of extensive review, i thought I was late but then when I arrived konte pa lang yung tao. For quite a long time i've never seen faces ever since after graduation kaya kwentuhan muna sa ibang mga kakilala, kaliwat kanan na hi and hello, smile dito wave doon. hehe.

Had lunch at Butcher's Best, ang tagal ko na di nakakain dun. I used to eat there kasama ng mga blockmates ko dati when i was still studying at XU-ADCU kc naman malapit lang, masarap and kaya sa budget. hehe. ayun i kinda wasn't into eating there pa nung una kc at lunch time marami talagang tao and nagugutom na ako. haha. pero di naman ako namimilit and yung mga kasama ko lang pinadedecide ko so we end up eating there. masaya naman ako na dun na din kami kumain, i missed eating there din kc. sarap! busog na busog ako after, though we end up eating brownies naman since me and my friend were craving for something sweet and napadaan kami sa isang pastry/bakeshop. hehe. Kinalabasan, nalate kami pabalik ng school, well not actually late since they started much earlier than expected. hehe.

It was quite a long day for me kahit medjo maaga natapos around 4:30pm. hehe. Kahit medjo pagod and not feeling well i went to SM, nag baka sakali baka available na yung album, and tingin na din ng DVD na Celine Dion A New Day Concert. I've been looking for this for a long time na talaga kaso i couldn't find any kc naman di pa narerelease to and yung sa may pirated naman, cover lang yung tama but not the content, ibang concert yung nasaloob. I asked my mom to buy for us, which cost around Php1600++ when converted to pesos, fortunately I saw a copy on one branch of Oddysey and has a tag of Php 665, kaso when i went to buy it na eh wala na siland stock. So there I tried to look for it nga SM and luckily meron sa Record Bar ng Department Store and so i got one. yey! at pinanood ko na kanina. haha.

Unfortunately, I wasn't able to get a copy of the album [MYMP Now], wala pa daw baka this week or next week, kaya ayun. Nga pala sa atrium pala medjo madaming tao since the talent portion of Ms. Cagayan 08 was held there pero natawa ako kc mas madami pa nanood dun kc nag papicture at nakitingin kay Marc Nelson who was there on one wing of the mall for his timex endorsement. Siguro wala lang nakapansin sa kanya since medjo tago yung location niya compared dun sa Ms. Cagayan 08 or sadyang not-so-into-celebrities ang mga Kagay-anons. hehe. napansin ko land din talaga. haha.

Nung una di ko alam na andun c Marc Nelson kc natatabunan ng back draft kc galing ako inside the department store and andun ung mesa niya sa door facing the lobby..parang sekyu ano! ahaha then may mga tao na kumuha ng picture kaso di naman marami.. pwedeng i head count actually then yung mga sales personnel dun nakatoon. uhm he's not that buff pala na nakikita sa tv pero lamang pa rin ng isang linggong paligo cguro. ahaha. I got a shirt and ayun umuwi na ako!

Kahit narinig ko na ung mga songs sa album now and medjo di pa nag sysync in yung ibang songs eh i'm still excited to have a copy. hahayz.

to everyone... Please do grab an original copy of MYMP's new album entitled "Now" maganda xa without bias! hehe ;)

tired.

i think i am quite fine with the whole review thing, at least i have less time to think about not so good feel things though sometimes even at the start of the day, i feel like going home nah! I don't know siguro tamad lang talaga ako. Uhm i have been planning to somehow engage in some active activity but couldn't get my feet all set not until last night.

After an almost whole day of shower and gloomy weather, at 10PM the sky was so bright that it was as if it was dawn. I decided to just jump and do some walking, it was an almost hour walk and probably was one of the best walks i had. Had my rubber shoes on and off i went with some random music on my ears. I was happy somehow -- i don't know I do get certain pleasure being alone worry-free. hehe.

Today, i had my review and wee our session was shorten up until around 2:30pm since the lecturer need to get in the 4pm flight to manila i think. I'm happy that i got early even though I wouldn't and didn't know how to consume the rest of the day. hehe. Hopefully tonight I can continue my walking and be able to do it habitually 'coz it sure does get the stress out of my nerves.

uhm i'm tired. i don't know. it's really mentally tiring to think about the impossible. it's i don't know. hehe. As usual i am stuck with music that i love but who doesn't really love me back. i kinda don't bother myself by that fact though 'coz it feels the spaces in between :)

surprise surprise!

I've always been into surprises -- big or small as long as it's not me whois being surprised. Anyway, we did a surprise party for my ninang, well our families were close well since before i was born. hehe. it was trully a surprise for her, she didn't anticipate it, no mentioning of plans for her 50th birthday since she got used to having a dual celebration, her birthday and the feast of st. someone... oops! sorry i forgot the name but he is the patron saint of the place where she has her veterinary clinic. ayun! last night around 6pm, it was already dark, my father called me up to inform us about the surprise party and was asking me to cook for the said event. err! last minute requests but then i obliged myself, i hurriedly got dressed and off i went to the grocery store -- a not so long more or less 30 minute ride to the city. i am very much pleased to the request, i just want to share cooking that's why.

i woke up early this morning to prepare for the food, i had to 'cause we had to be there by 9am before the celebrator comes home from her home service and church -- i forgot it's almost equidistant from downtown to where we live but all the way across to the opposite direction. hehe. I managed to finish everything on time whew! that worried me a bit and i was almost off the grill. I brought baked speltoni pasta and beef stroganoff... haha don't start that grimace look! i know i know i just invented those names for my menu but it sure taste delicious or maybe fine.

We arrived their and started with a few beso-beso and mano po here and there. waah! ang dami pa lang food as in literally it was overflowing with food since everyone else brought. hehe. As I've said our families are way too close, that I've grew up one way or another seeing and being with their extended relatives, for the longest time finally they saw me as a grown-up now! haha surprise surprise i'm way older now and a bit different but despite that fact one always remain, the memory of me being little. hehe. I saw ates and kuyas, mommy and daddy / tatay (my kababata's uncles and aunts), titas and titos which are also our family friends, kakaaliw ung reactions nila. ahahaha it was one hell of a reunion na din. hehe

after filling the tummies, we head to watch, "Zohan", the latest Adam Sandler movie on dvd and well kakaaliw naman kahit papano, though i really don't get american humor most of the time. hehe. sorry! haha. It was a fun day to sum up, I'm thankful to see the people around and much thankful that they liked the food i prepared! ahaha.

weird -- not

i'm feeling a little better now... uhm headache seemed to frequent me this past few days. i'm not quite sure what cause this though. Probably the weather. hehe. anyway i'm thankful that I was able to go home early today and rest. weird to some but i don't really feel like going out nowadays, all i want is to stay home.

earlier, my sister got a copy of "Maid Of Honor", wherein Grey's Anatomy main cast, Patrick Dempsey starred in recently. The plot basically was similar of Julia Robert's "My Bestfriend's Wedding" which became a hit in the 90's. Uhm it was weird though to have a MALE maid of honor, but then the story wasn't that weird after all. Falling for someone close -- bestfriend, suppressing the feeling, the apple of the eye goes some miles away, realize that one can't not having her beside, finally grasping the courage, and bang! it's all too late! BUT not in the movies though, like it's 90's counterpart... kaboom! the most awaited dream wedding has just been ruined. And the two secret lovers just had their happily ever after. nice naman yung movie though i doubt if this happens or will happen in real life.

the weather is just so so weird, in awhile it's hot and the next minute it starts to rain but doesn't push through at all. gusto ko pa naman umuulan. Now, this might be the inconvenient truth as what US VP Al Gore had been campaigning for. Global Warming is getting to our nerves literally and i hope everyone should be sensitive bout this. hahayz.

I hope everything will be fine for me and for everyone else. :)

"Only I"

there's nothing significant to write about today. Just thought to share this song, it's actually an old song -- not that old.. a few years back. This song has been one of my faves din and i kinda kept it on my unconscious for quite sometime. Yesterday, a friend was scanning thru my ipod and came to play this one, i introduced this song din sa kanya before and liked it since then.

The song is entitled.. "Only I" and interpreted by Dianne Dela Fuente, this is one of the 10 cuts in the "Himig Handog Love Songs" album which a compilation of entries from a songwriting contest of the same title. The song didn't bag any of the major awards in the contest nor it hit the airwaves but it did it me :P wala lang nagagandahan lang talaga ako song. hahayz wala na akong masabi, i am out of words na so here is the lyrics:

ONLY I

I know it’s over now
There’s nothing left to say
You were all I ever asked for
I thought forever love would be
Saw you with another girl
Never saw you so happy
But now I have to set you free
Don’t you know how much you mean to me

CHORUS

‘cause only I saw in you
what they failed to see
only I made you smile
when you were breaking in tears
move on with your life
let my love die in vain
‘cause only I need to feel this pain

I know it’s over now
There’s nothing left to say
But when I think of how you left without
a trace
How I wish, it was me in her place
But now all that I ask of you

Before I set you free
Feel the love so strong and true
And recall the love you shared with me

*CHORUS*

because I loved you all my life
and I will forevermore
only I would bear to feel the pain
to remind me that you loved me once before

*CHORUS*

only I need to feel this pain.

need a little rain

It's no ring on the ear to people who know me very well that I love the rain and it's quite abnormal for some for me to plea for a rain na parang bagyo -- hehe. it's just me. Actually, it has been so so gloomy this past weeks here and sometimes its quite disappointing na hindi natutuloy yung pagbuhos ng ulan. yesterday, i jokingly told my friends whom I'm with sa review na malamang uulan ng malakas but it didn't happened that instances. Around 8pm last night, it rained hard... ang saya ko! super duper malakas pero kakatakot lang yung lightning but nothing stopped me! I bathe under the rain. haha. ang saya talaga! I've never bathed under the rain for like forever. ang saya talaga kahit ako lang mag-isa. I didn't stayed long din kc baka mataamaan ng kidlat since there were reported incidents of people struck by lighting recently. haha. kaya ayun!

I also slept early last night, dahil sa pagod na rin ng review.. it's quite saturating talaga buti nalang the rain paved the stress away! I had one of the nicest sleep though I woke up around 1:30am and 4:30am for i don't know reason -- I still felt relaxed and not tired. hehe. I woke up early also on the right side of the bed!.. for the record i don't have a large bed! hahaha. I don't have a review today and unfortunately we will be having our sessions for the rest of the days up until thursday and that includes sunday. hahayz.

now.. i have no idea how to spend my whole fri-day but i guess there's nothing rather special for today.. +homebuddy mode+

review.results

uhm... mmm... i'm actually thinking what to write about. uhm the results for the june 2008 NLE was released already and i'm happy to those whom i know that passed the boards. now! i'm pressured to pass... as you know i'm currently enrolled sa modular review and up until now i got a problem on my attention span, i'm quite drained really. anyhow i will do my best to do my part. hehe. i'm quite happy though with my recent scores though not that reliable but i think i'm improving naman. i really hope that as the days pass eh i will be able to have more patience in reading and learning stuffs. i do agree with one of my friends,that my problem is "tapulan lang jud ko" though i know i am doing my part i still believe it that i can do better. i'm aiming to improve and to have good grades in the upcoming NLE and to top i think is out of my league but syempre who wouldn't want to earn that di ba? hehe.

i know i am not a religious person talaga but i do believe in the power of prayers and i can always say that it works. i can attest to its power talaga and so i ask for everyone to pray for me that i may be able to achieve and to surpass the challenge of the local board. I know I wouldn't be able to do what I am supposed to do without His guidance. I really also pray for a smooth process during the filing. hahayz dami pa dapat intindihin talaga but I'm thankful that I have my terminal clearance already and so by monday i'll try to utilize my time to complete the things that is needed to be done. hehe.

Anyway congratulations to everyone who took and passed the boards! :)

i'm worried -- not so anymore

uhm i don't know again what to write... i kinda like the review session today, well it was fast paced and i am kinda liking the fact that my sores improved a bit. Nabuhayan din ako ng loob when i knew ow the grades are being computed during the boards. i've always thought that i needed to get atleast 60 out 100 items for each part of the test and it worried me big time since i've always been stucked at 50 something. yep! i'm worried -- i worry and i care about this! damn! i understand many would perceive i don't take things seriously and kinda just a happy-go-lucky person. i am just really trying to compose myself. hehe that's me.. things matter to me! everything matters to me. it may not be reflective to what people see me but i do care! i'm just good in hiding things probably. hehe.

An Updated Version of Me

let me start by sharing this text message from one of my closest @ soulful groupies, this is from ate sol... "If you keep doing what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always gotten.", this is actually a qoute from jc maxwell.. Sino siya? uhm well di ko kilala but mapapaisip ka when you read the qoute and masasabihan mo ang sarili mo ng malaking "OO NGA NAMAN!" hehe

then as i started to write this blog entry eh..kc concepcion's an updated version of me is on track thus, my blog entry is entitled as such. wala lang. i really don't have anything on mind on what to write, so don't be puzzled sa mga pagsasabi ko now. it's just that i feel writing. sige eto, when you were younger than your age now, what were your perceptions on your age now? uhm magulo bah? ganito when you were like say 16 years old.. in high school... what were your perceptions of peoplein college or people in their 20's? me i've always thought of people in their 20's as matured, a bit older in age and in views. I've always thought that when i reach that age,everything would be different... different not just physically but also psychologically, emotionally and everything else would be different. Now that i'm 22 i realized not much had changed, i'm basically years older but there's not much of a difference really. maybe, i'm richer in experience now but in totality, i'm think i'm the same guy. i don't know maybe it's just me, maybe i've changed much and i'm just too bias to tell.

well as what her (kc) song says... "someday you'll see an updated version of me" :)

anyway here are some outlined form of the things that consumes my time on earth these days

1. draining review
2. sleep
3. commute inc. waiting/walking/traffic jam
4. eat
5. toilet/bath
6. music
7. net/tv (not quite)
8. talking
9. 3-hours of my day stuck in one position for medication

monotony that is!

oops!

10. daydreaming

90/10 Principle

it's late already and so i opt to share this one for today, i got this through email way way last October 26, 2006 back from a friend and i just got to read through it yesterday. The subject title says "90/10 Principle" well you probably got to read this before and so here it goes...

What is the 90/10 Principle?
* 10% of life is made up of what happens to you.
* 90% of life is decided by how you react.

What does this mean?
Ø We really have no control over 10% of what happens to us.
Ø We cannot stop the car from breaking down.
Ø The plane will be late arriving, which throws our whole schedule
off.
Ø A driver may cut us off in traffic.

We have no control over this 10%.
The other 90% is different.
You determine the other 90%.
How? By your reaction.
You cannot control a red light, but you can control your reaction.
Don't let people fool you; YOU can control how you react.

Let's use an example.
You are eating breakfast with your family.
Your daughter knocks over a cup of coffee onto your business shirt.
You have no control over what just what happened.
What happens next will be determined by how you react.
You curse. You harshly scold your daughter for knocking the cup over.
She breaks down in tears.
After scolding her, you turn to your spouse and criticize her for placing

the cup too close to the edge of the table.
A short verbal battle follows.
You storm upstairs and change your shirt.
Back downstairs, you find your daughter has been too busy crying to

finish breakfast and get ready for school.
She misses the bus.
Your spouse must leave immediately for work.
You rush to the car and drive your daughter to school.
Because you are late, you drive 40 miles an hour in a 30 mph speed

limit.
After a 15-minute delay and throwing $60 traffic fine away, you arrive

at school.
Your daughter runs into the building without saying goodbye.
After arriving at the office 20 minutes late, you find you forgot your

briefcase.
Your day has started terribly.
As it continues, it seems to get worse and worse.
You look forward to coming home, When you arrive home, you find a

small

wedge in your relationship with your spouse and daughter.
Why? Because of how you reacted in the morning.á Why did you have

a bad day?

A) Did the coffee cause it?
B) Did your daughter cause it?
C) Did the policeman cause it?
D) Did you cause it?

The answer is D.
´ You had no control over what happened with the coffee.
´ How you reacted in those 5 seconds is what caused your bad day.
´ Here is what could have and should have happened.
´ Coffee splashes over you.
´ Your daughter is about to cry.
´ You gently say, "It's ok honey, you just need to be more careful next

time."
´ Grabbing a towel you rush upstairs.
´ After grabbing a new shirt and your briefcase, you come back down in

time to look through the window and see your child getting on the bus.
´ She turns and waves.
´ You arrive 5 minutes early and cheerfully greet the staff.
´ Your boss comments on how good the day you are having. Notice the

difference?

Ø Two different scenarios.
Ø Both started the same.
Ø Both ended different.
Ø Why? Because of how you REACTED.
Ø You really do not have any control over 10% of what happens.
Ø The other 90% was determined by your reaction.

Here are some ways to apply the 90/10 principle.
Ø If someone says something negative about you, don't be a sponge.
Ø Let the attack roll off like water on glass.
Ø You don't have to let the negative comment affect you!
Ø React properly and it will not ruin your day.
Ø A wrong reaction could result in losing a friend, being fired, getting

stressed out etc.
Ø How do you react if someone cuts you off in traffic?
Ø Do you lose your temper?
Ø Pound on the steering wheel?
Ø A friend of mine had the steering wheel fall off!
Ø Do you curse?
Ø Does your blood pressure skyrocket?
Ø Do you try and bump them? WHO CARES if you arrive ten seconds

later at work?
Ø Why let the cars ruin your drive?

Remember the 90/10 principle, and do not worry about it.

Ø The plane is late; it is going to mangle your schedule for

the day.
Ø Why take out your frustration on the flight attendant?
Ø She has no control over what is going on.
Ø Use your time to study, get to know the other passenger.
Ø Why get stressed out?
Ø It will just make things worse.

Now you know the 90-10 principle.
* Apply it and you will be amazed at the results.
* You will lose nothing if you try it.
* The 90-10 principle is incredible.
* Very few know and apply this principle.
* The result?
Millions of people are suffering from undeserved stress, trials, problems

and heartache.
There never seems to be a success in life.
Bad days follow bad days.
Terrible things seem to be constantly happening.
There is constant stress, lack of joy, and broken relationships.
Worry consumes time.
Anger breaks friendships and life seems dreary and is not enjoyed to

the fullest.
Friends are lost.
Life is a bore and often seems cruel.


uhm i barely read my emails, it is when i'll realize that i got a whole load that i get to start to full the trash bin and open emails and it would't be any surprise to see emails dated back 2-3 years ago.hehe. sad but true, i have toadmit that somehowi missed out on things by not reading emails. yet, i couldn't rest assure that i will be regularly checking on my emails -- i do check and only open those i think are important as in really really important emails. hehe.

to or not to

i overslept after waking up early to have my medication, i had to pass from review class. I wasn't that late actually but then i figured that there's morning rush traffic since i have to travel. Plus, I intended to absent myself from class in the afternoon since i had to attend my bro's school activity, though i still went to the city to buy some stuff for the afternoon's activity.

Since i didn't went to class, i was able to check on my email, i got tons of unread ones and was able to read through on some.Next time i'll post some of those i liked. The activity went okey, one of the speeches given, i agreed upon, stated something like... "if problems come we shouldn't react and pinpoint anybody, we should ask ourselves first... did we do anything wrong? did we do something beneficial? did we do our part?". wala lang. hehe. well we always here from the news concerning the call of the people against price hike, against poverty and i so hate the fact that people would choose to shout in the streets rather than making use of their time to be productive.i mean, come to think of it, can poverty be resolved right away? is rally the solution? could that mere action put food on the table? now i sound politically inclined but i'm not. hehe.

--switch topic--

uhm now give me a topic. hehe. err anyway i have to get up early tomorrow for a series of reasons. first, i had to since i will be waisting an hour -- not really waist since it's for the medication but i wouldn't be moving much for that hour. second, i need to cook baked speltoni since my mom's cousin ordered and got no other time but to do it early.last, i have to finish everything before my review classes at 8am wherein i needed to be in before 7:30am probably to have a seat in front or else i'll be stuck with my butt at the rear end of the room and good luck to me if that happens cause it would end up with either -- me not hearing much of the discussion or me fighting the whole of me from sleeping. hehe

oops! i just wanna share this. i got a new fave qoute! hehe. i don't know, i like what it shouts...

"Work like you don't need the money, Love like you've never been hurt , Dance like nobody's watching" --- Mark Twain

moving on

okey... i'm so over the resignation,somehow i'm at ease with that already. by now, i'm 30 minutes away from doing things, i can't move normally since i'm under medication. well, earlier i had a visit to an otolaryngologist for a check-up since i had an ear trouble. i had to wait for five hours to have my turn,but i waited anyway. nothing serious, i had ear infection and polyp growth on my right ear and i was given medications already. i'll be going back after 10 days and so basically that consumed my day.

tomorrow would be another long day, review resumes after a week suspension of sessions for i don't know reason. so, the rest of the week was just spent lurking in my room, listening music and thinking. hahayz i'm tired. i got 10 minutes more until i can move around. i'm stucked errr. i hate this but can't help it... i can't stop myself. :(

not feeling any better

i have may day off from review classes, it's almost over but it seemed not a free day. kulang na kulang yung one day off. hehe. Grabeh the sessions where just so saturating, well yesterday was the most saturating of all even if what we did was just answering a two-art pretest and rationalization. it bombed my braincells into pieces like hell -- i wanted to go home before it would actually end. Maybe i am just still adjusting to this not so new routine. hahayz

have you ever given short notices? well i just did and it dawned me so bad. it's weird how i got use to distance and not seeing people important to me but then get affected whenever one leaves for a few miles away. errr. i hate to admit it, i'm not feeling any better and basta.

conflict

I am just so disappointed of the fact that I needed to choose between work and the modular review. All the while I thought I can pull everything off but the schedule doesn't coincide and by the provisions laid upon me during the review orientation -- I have and had to weigh things and let go one. I hate the fact that I'm leaving work in a short notice a.k.a. resigning on the dot. I just hate thinking about the fact that it would be inconvenient and unfair to the people at work. hahayz. It was really a tough decision but then at the end i opted to drop work and continue the review. Errr. I still hate myself for not foreseeing things, I really thought that everything would be okey and go well as I planned to resign on september in time for the more serious intensive review but heck the changes. I feel really bad today, I can't even spare a time to personally deliver the resignation letter tomorrow. hahayz.

Anyway, I enjoyed the review session hours ago, we had utmost 6 hours and 30 minutes of solid lecture. Katuwa nga eh, having a lecturer as energetic and fluent as what we had really great -- she reminds me of Pokwang actually. I had the comedy bar feel with the hype and the laughs but it didn't really erased the main purpose of the event which was review. One goodthing bout the review was the fact that I am with familiar faces and did I mention that we will have 3 lecturers whom I know? waah! I couldn't imagine how would my supposed to be batch mates do their lectures. hehe.I am having a slight headache right now, I still am having some luggages on me about the conflict. hahayz double hahayz

nothing much

thank god work resumes tomorrow, i'm glad i don't have to go over days and nights with nothing much to do. For the coming week, the schedule will be retained and that i am having my work in a 10-6 shift. The retention was brought about by the upcoming audit, since we had shutdown we weren't able to join to some sort of orientation or briefing. Probably the upper men thought we can't handle audit lol and doesn't want to take any risk. haha. anyway it's alright, i don't mind not undergoing is a quite a relief though to have distorted sleep pattern is not a relief at all. hehe.

now i don't know what else to write about. hmmm... a super dim light from a post outside the window adjacent to where i am lying down, noise from the vehicles passing by the highway plus the sound of the fan rotating plus the light from the laptop screen plus the sound from the television and the barking puppy at the living room plus Nina Simone's tame low tone voice in tune of the Beatles' Here Comes The Sun seemed like a lullaby that i'm so ready to sleep. hehe.

well i don't know how to end this post... uhm. i just don't know. hahayz :|

can we just talk?

it is cold today and still my fan is on 3, inches away from me. it is jampacked raining outside and gloomy -- too dark for 4:30pm. i love days like this when you can cuddle yourself and beam on things to the tune of songs easy on the ears. Well it's "How Deep is Your Love" by the bird and the bee, which is part of the upcoming Sex and The City movie.

In the hopes of keeping my afternoon busy, i stumbled into a thread in which i used to post in, "i hope mabasa niya to" thread which made me think of things. Ironic may it be but how can we have so much thoughts to share or thinks to tell someone when we don't have the chance to. When we are all free and the moment draws us to speak all we want, we cannot even utter a word or two. We are able to clearly see things and finish a whole paragraph when it is no longer needed. Why can't we just talk then and there without any hesitations? Why can't we talk upfront? Why can't we not regret? Why can't we not say that i'm all done, hands off without feeling remorse? or maybe a simple mind reading ability could have made everything easy and fast.

Well, that's how the world goes and for what ever left unsaid for now may never be spoken and will remain unsaid for as long as forever. Maybe we are just given one opportunity in a lifetime and when we pass by that, there wouldn't be any downright second chances. Maybe what matters in this world, is having the gutts for the first and last time. Maybe this world is for those stronger souls who are ready to risk anything, who are never afraid to speak out, for those greater soul who never feared or maybe not.

I just hope that one day i'll find myself fighting for what I really want, I hope I can be one greater soul somehow someday.

disappointments and moving

i am darn disappointed, i already processed the "NG" that i got and up until this moment -- wala pa din. my respect for the school has been deteriorating since i stoop down on the halls of the university but i gave second thoughts as for the so called "benefit of doubt" but with everything that had been and has been happening i don't know where to find that respect anymore. kainis! good thing, the secretary of the office of the dean showed some effort to check on the records. well for now-- i'm stucked! i can't process my terminal clearance. damn it!

I had an LSS, i know this is almost unbelievable but anyway LSS stands for Last Song Syndrome incase somebody doesn't know hahaha, on "Bukas Na Lang Kita Mamahalin" for quite sometime now and wala lang like yung "I Don't Wanna Be Your Friend" eh pag nauubusan na ng kantang kakantahin yun at yun nalang ang balik balikang kantahin. Natawa lang ako sa gitna ng aking inis at pagtextext bout my rage on the matter, eh narinig ko yung song na yun. Eh! It doesn't frequent the airwaves nor being sang randomly nowadays, ayun may program sa Audio Visual Room na katabi lang ng faculty room and dinig na dinig pa. Actually some faculty even sang in tune of it at nag comment pa na nagkamali daw ung kumanta -- off key daw! ahaha.

i don't have work and so i had the chance to work on some other matters, i was able to check on my upcoming modular review and settled my accounts and i was also able to process my passport in one day. it was actually my first to get the passport and I did it alone -- okey naman i had it processed in less than 2 hours though it will be released 20 days after pa. I went to the Department of Foreign Affairs to file it and luckily i didn't have nay problems with regards to my application. I was just so disappointed with the fact that there was slight differentiation on the system they are implementing. First,it doesn't follow the first come first serve policy well, stage 1 is an exemption. I submitted my application on stage 1 ahead of the others, but i don't know for whatever reason, i had the following stages later than the others. Second, the staffs or shall i say "some" staffs doesn't allocate their time well. I had noticed that the Payment in-charge had her break around 30 minutes or so without even considering that applications were growing in pile and when she got back her cash register on the first punch signaled that the i-don't-know-what-do-they-call roll of paper had been consumed and needed to be changed and she doesn't know how to do it --- see a waste of time. Third, now this is out of context but still with regards to the DFA office, considering that it was a regional office it should have a budget for the physical expenditures -- the place was all messy! gahd! it doesn't seem like a regional office at all. I have to merit the office though for anticipating the needs of the applicants by having, a knock down photo studio, a canteen nearby the waiting area and a photocopier just inside the building. I also do give credit, to the assistance they are giving to the applicants everyone there knows the process and the even share guidelines including those incharge at the photocopier. yay! atleast i've accomplished something :D

then i headed home na! hahayz nothing significant happened last night, i just wasted my time on tv, net and by around 10:30 or 11pm i was asleep. Anyway i'm back to work by july 1st so that would atleast keep me busy and lessen any deep thinking.

latest song: The Man I Was With You by Jimmy Bondoc

want.responsibility.need

I was to post the other day, unfortunately i didn't know what more to write other than the sun up, the heat is all over and i'm not loving nor hating it -- i just don't like to sweat under that heat. good thing, sky's pouring some rain from time to time. uhm the rapid and unpredictable change in weather could be the after effect of human pretentious ignorance. honestly, i fear for the future i don't know what would eventually happen. i wanted to make a blog for a campaign, unfortunately i am not quite sure if it will be realized anyhow i am on the process of thinking of strategies on spreading the word. well i'm calling the campaign "LIVE GREEN".

uhm another thing that i wanna share is all about food. well, i am fond of eating shawarma and yogurt nowadays. i don't know but it's kinda weird how i came to like yogurt, when i hated it the first time i tasted it. i have to admit i am quite maarte when it comes to food or whatever that enters my dirty mouth. once, i'd say i don't like it shouldn't and wouldn't pass through my lips in anyway or i'll puke. i love yogurt now, the one with strawberry bits. i consumed one pint in one sitting. haha. Shawarma, I've eaten this a couple of times back in college but i rarely ate it na especially when i transfered school. Recently I got a munch of it and walah! I'm craving for one every now and then. Once day, I ate 3 of those and was craving for more... haha gluttony. ew! I love to eat though, I don't spare food and go on a diet. hehe

i don't have work pala 'til july first since we reached the quota before the end of the month and so we had to shutdown for days though we can actually float to another department if we want to and if slots are available. Today, i attended the Home Room Parent-Teacher Meeting for my brother who is in his sixth grade. Actually it was my first to join one and errr i was elected the president. hahaha. never did i expected this, not once in my entire academic travel that i was nominated for president. i just don't know how to go about this bahala na si batman! hahahaha this is just insane -- i'm not even a parent! ayun, i had to shell out and swallow my shyness in... kakaano to speak infront of other parents. hahayz. well the said meeting ended still being me as the president. wtf kanchaw inabot ko sa cousins ko. errr. bahala na! hahaha

i'm just listening to new and not so new tunes in spare time and wala lang. i will be going back to school tomorrow to check on some needed things and to work on my passport. hahayz :)

cold days and songs

it's raining! weee i love the weather but don't get me wrong... i feel bad sa mga nasalanta ng bagyo din naman. i just like the feel of breezy cold. no big news for today but i guess i'm doing fine, well music other than work eat up my time. hehe. wala lang i just find it comfortable to sit around or lay around with some tunes. i'm currently looking for the Desmond Child rendition of Dianne Warren's "I Don't Wanna Be Your Friend", if you're not familiar with title well Nina did a cover on this one wherein she had her wet not-so-good-for-my-sight music video. haha. I'm currently listening to the Dominique Van Hulst version of the song while looking for that male rendition, had that before kaso when the pc was reformatted I wasn't able to keep a copy so wala ang hirap maghanap. hahayz. I checked out for the lyrics and it dawned me na ang lungkot pala ng kanta na toh! Hehe. i'm not affected but it's a sad sad song. sigh.

aw! I remember now,one thing that excites me is the new album from MYMP. yay! this will be released daw hopefully by august. yeee! sana not an all-original album, sana may covers pa din. as much as i hate it being overplayed,yung covers, i still want them to do some. hehe. woohoo! i hat my excited nerves, hate the feeling and impulse. lol.

I wanna stay home and jut lay down the whole day, i can live with the coldness and some songs but then again i have work and i;m much eager to earn really so i'm letting go with the pleasure of the weather. hehe. "goodbye goodbye... don't call me in the middle of the night no more, don't expect me to be there!" ouch! hehe. well another set of lyrics pondered upon, sorry rhythm catches me first kaya nahuhuli yung deeper meaning ng songs, though fortunately magaganda rin naman yung choices of songs ko. :D

tomorrow is another working day and i'll be or shall i say i need to be early! i hope the weather would remain the same for a couple more days para mas masaya ako. hehe. i just love the cold mornings!

dettach and work

i am so so so out of context. i don't know maybe i was too focused at my work that i overlooked some errands to an extent. good thing that friends had updated me about the upcoming review and other stuff. i'm just so pissed right now knowing that i processed my "NG" subject for almost a month already and up until now wala pa rin nangyari -- it's just so disappointing. i'm just not so proud of what kind of institution, i graduated from. errr.

anyhow,i have to fix my schedules for the modular review as so as much as possible it wouldn't clash with work. unfortunately i got some errands to fix with school and requirements before it hits the start and hopefully maayos in time. hehe. with work naman, i'm just so determined to be able to earn, got my first compensation last monday and i'm glad to earn that amount with all sweat. I've saved it to buy something more grand to at least keep something from my first ever job, i'm sporting for the ipod speakers and sana lang magkasya yung pera na maipon. hahayz. well we'll see.

another thing, i'm happy that i am getting along well just fine with my peers, i am able to laugh around and spill some antics too. it is just getting well and shux! work isn't hat easy pala talaga we had our audit the other day and kakaba sobra. it was like having an impromptu oral recitation, kakakabog ng dibdib and it wasn't just me even those who have been in an audit has that feeling of butterflies. it's just nuts waaaah! but then we were fortunate enough that we weren't questioned and stuff, he -- who ever he was, just observed what we were doing and pass by. thank god! but hey it didn't made any difference with what others felt kakatakot talaga. hehe. there's another audit coming and hopefully it will turn out well. yaix!

father's day again!

it's father's day today and i had my off from work, it was unplanned but i had the last minute decision to not go to work. i really had a hard time though since i kinda have thought na sayang what ever i'll be earning supposedly for the day but then i just persuade myself as this was just one fo those "sometimes" get together with my family. hehe.

we celebrate most of the time together with the family from my fathers' since i don't know hindi mahilig ata yung sa mother's side eh ung mga celebrate celebrate na ganun. i don't know we rarely celebrate on the mother's side except on some instances but anyway ayun our uncle treated us sa shakey's!. hehe. we had lunch with pizza and chix --- walang rice! haha. anyhow may slight regret since sandali lang kami natapos so by around 3pm eh andun na kami sa bahay ng lola ko and that's an hour after yung supposedly time-in sa work. hehe.

we hitched sa wheels ng isang uncle ko, pero before we headed home eh nagpagupit pa xa somewhere in dvsoria so me, my lil bro and my cousin eh naghintay 'til he was done with his haircut. To kill the time, we just went to have our window shopping at some stalls of pirated dvds and vcds --- wag maingay!. Since mainit i shoved them to a nearby mcdonalds to cool our mouths with something sweet, i had Oreo Mcflurry by the way it was my treat. hehe

ayun then we headed to our lola's house and like any other sunday nanood ng tv maghapon and eat. hehe. as it was father's day, i remembered i had a blog entry last year and i read it again. Kakaaliw lang yung day when i had our groceries with my lil cousin.. ganun pa din naman yun makulit.i just hope maulit and i realize i love kids except for those spoiled brats! hehe

damn!

uhm i just got from work and like any other day --- good thing i get along well with my group mates. we just talk or sing the time out and walah! it was less than two hours 'til we pack up and head home. hehe. bad thing though, i just hate the fact that i am being nagged about being slow errr! i am with my cousin at work and i hate it when negativity is thrown to me. I know my capabilities and limitations but i don't need pressure -- it just smashes my motivation out. I don't need to be reminded of the fact that i am quite a sloth at things but i try to compensate it naman din eh by not being lazy and using time well as not to waste any.

basically i am trying to adjust and widen my patience. i am not quite sure what is up for me in the coming days 'coz i am yet to meet other co-workers. i belong to one department and it is inevitable that i will be sent to another to float around most especially when there will be uneven distribution of people. i am just furious how people would accept me since i gained weird looks from some this early. hahaha what the heck! anyhow i am just so glad that i get along well with my groupmates and that i can say i am having fun to an extent. hehe i can do what others can, i maybe maarte , conio-typical in some degree but i am flexible. damn it!

???

i am not quite sure what to write now, all i know is i wanna write. hehe -- weird! uhm came from work and i'm enjoying things. Life seemed to be so-so now, nothing grand.. nothing exciting nor intriguing just plain so-so. I am quite detached though from my life before maybe because i am more focus on work. Not much texting as if i am an avid texter haha btaw i barely cuddle my phone, net not so often, i still listen to music and got some new discoveries, uhm what else? nothing significant these days. hahayz. i just hope i am not missing a lot from whatever is happening beyond me.

out in the real world

o oh! i am way behind... it's already june and it's independence day. the last time i blogged in was a month ago and plus plus days. i am not quite sure where to start since 33 days is 792 hours and that sure is a lot of stories to tell -- i used the digital calculator to compute on the total number hours as so you know. anyhow, i have a job now --- the process and the job itself isn't that easy.

welcome to the real world, lining for my first real interview in search for a job. Despite of the fact that i have someone to back me up, the pressure is on me to pass every step of the way. I fell in line for hours under the heat of the sun for the interview. I have to admit i was a bit anxious it was my first and i wasn't quite sure what to expect, there was even no familiar faces. I think i did fine over the interview since she-- the interviewer had a positive facade as i went out the room and you can actually see her enthusiasm.

days after i was to take the examination -- anxious still. pressure rushed in upon knowing that it was a 65 item / 15 minute exam. it was not that hard though time bombed me to death -- geez i am not really good in math and i am not into it either. I was skeptical with how i did, since i know the math part was just a pik-pak-boom play but oh well i made it to the orientation. 2 days of boring discussion on the system that the company is implementing to poisoning -- yep! poisoning. i took another exam and this time was a more serious one that delved on what were tackled during the two days and this time pressure was on me 2 days was a lot to stuck in my little brain and err i have a deteriorating memory. i am also glad that i now have a buddy to at least ease the unfamiliar --- he is from the same school and knew him when we had our duty in malaybalay, same boarding home.

weee good news! i got a high score on that exam and yeba! i was in for my on-the-job-training. we were given a week to comply some requirements and i did. happy! happy! Now the nature of my work --- well it is a blue-collared job but what the heck i am earning. hehe. i am on the packing line which means.. i pack food goods -- that's nestle! pack it, seal it, box it, pile it yup! need some strength there but kayang kaya! haha. I am on my 3rd week now and i am fine, getting to know people and getting used to the job. it's hard to earn --- cliche but that's for real.

Happy Mother's Day!

Late greeting to all the mothers out there! It's really a nice feeling to be able to greet people you know even for a day. It's Mother's day yesterday and I've greeted almost every mom in my phone book... and it was a personalized greeting from me. I just really am thankful for every person I met and I'll be meeting in my lifetime and yesterday was a day to thank those moms in my life including my own mom syempre who have been ever supportive of me. love you ma!

days with me

Sometimes it's good to spend time alone with yourself, to somehow give yourself a treat. I had my share of solo moments, well would anyone care to question? would it be questionable. ahaha well most of the time i had to admit i'm alone actually, but there are those times from those "alone times" that you really spend time, you enjoy things with yourself and not anybody else.

before graduation,i was planning to get myself a good massage, after a long wait and some what unrealizable plan, i just had a taste of an hour of thai massage, i posted that already.

having a few trips back and forth to a shrine near our place along with some ipod, it's a 2 hour++ hiking and river trekking, you cross one river, 9 times. I don't know it's a self retreat for me.

having my frappe :)

watching some flicks, over HBO or dvds alone.

sitting on my bed, listening on some music with lights off and sometimes my windows open while the rain heavily pouring outside.

and just yesterday, i got my haircut. i strolled at the mall, which i don't usually do, trying to go through stores and not buying anything, just looking what stuffs they have. Then headed to a bookstore where i looked at some piles and piles of books old and new, trying to search books i don't know bout. well got one! it's entitled, Everyday People by Stewart O'nan and i am yet to read it.

walking on the streets of Cagayan de Oro, downtown that is, with no apparent direction well i know for a fact i am going home but i walk around til a jeepney comes along.

well i've eaten a couple of times in a fastfood and it isn't a good idea, i don't feel comfortable with that, but in a coffee shop oh well it's all fine.

having groceries alone, but i hate when i had to carry all baggages out of the cab's trunk.

i like it to wake up, with a silent serene atmosphere, lights off and the clouds outside turned nimbus then later finding out that your alone.

well, that's my list there. Oh! yesterday, as i was looking for books in that booksale shop, i stumbled on one little red or was that pink book. it says on the cover "The Fun Book for Couples... 102 Ways to Celebrate Love", it was a good find, but hey what for? anyway what was funny, is that i kept it somewhere in that literally books all over shop. well hey! incase i just need it. you'll never know when to need it :P

"BoYS 101"

Note: This was written a few years back, in mid 2005 at a food chain in the heart DVSoria in Cagayan de Oro. I had this kept in my pc as part of my little tiny notepad chronicles. hehe. This is funny. Looking back, this just makes me smile or laugh really!

I sat with a group of girls today in a food chain situated downtown

they chit chat in front of some french fries while sundae melts into their mouths…

as usual their were couple of laughs on the side and of course for the main dish

"BOYS"

with out even thinking that they are sitting with one.

BOYS 101, their all time favorite hahaha going back to the days they were with him...

gosh! dream on! oh! it's not being rude okey?!

it's not a question anymore of who specifically

well all this time they were mesmerize by this

"dude" , "hunk" , "papable" or what ever they call him

even though it appears that the guy doesn't show any interest! peace!

it was never an issue to them, it even became a norm.it was never a problem among the

guys in the group or shall i say it was not tackled or maybe guys don't just talk

openly over insecurities. If i am not mistaken, In the midst of their discussion i was

really amazed by the concern of the girls, how other guys react to the attention they

are giving to the "IT" guy. wow! they are still concerned! at least!

but i don't know if it was a true concern well who knows.. hope so...

back to the present( in a table together with some head over heels admirers of this

guy). they were fond of talking bout the guy and some other girls who like them go

gaga over him as they would want to "reiterate" they did not BACKBITE!they were

just... here's that word again.. quote and quote CONCERNED hahaha as their discussion

progresses they seemed to be more serious... or maybe not!

they had actually plotted a plan on how to capture the guy and their gears...

What he admires:

1.) soft spoken

2.) hinhin

3.) innocent effect

4.) well behave

5.) bright effect

6.) sports minded

7.) poise

8.) dili mag una una ug storya

9.) manya manya

10.) be yourself oops! not applicable

10.) MAKE THE MOST OUT OF IT!

take note: countersigned by the six of them!

good luck to them... well i just hope they'll succeed but what if...

i haven't mentioned but they did touch the issue of

how come this guy haven't reciprocated any of the admiration they had given

it's funny listening to them concerned of what will happen in the future...

hahaha

the WHAT IFs:

one, what if he is GAY! hahaha :the Karma of being hooked to someone

without double checking his true identity and leaving others unattended.

two, what if he comes back with somebody you are close with :ensure

that you haven't befriended snake.

three, what if they'll see him in the future with his pregnant wife:

always remember to play safe!

hahaha you'll never know!no matter what will happen in the end, what's important is that we make most out of what's present.Sometimes we became judgmental of how people act with our naked eyes but we don't see their real concerns,its not all about what the ladies felt for one but its also about what the majority felt.

we often have illusions but with illusions we become real.

do you think this is crazy? hehehe

well crazy things gets into the mind especially on a gloomy friday night.

crazy it may seem but its reality.

"so true, funny how it seems only in time but never in line for dreams,
head over heels and toe to toe this is the sound of THEIR soul"

-TRUE, spandau ballet